Do you realize when you tell yourself “No” to anything, your flesh automatically kicks back, stands tall and perches itself ready to attack and fight you back. Sounds crazy, I know, but try to tell yourself NO to anything you really want and watch the battle begin. There’s something I’ve been battling with for a while, but today, I really need it to stop.
I remember when I was single and God asked me to leave a particular gentleman I was dating alone. He was my heart and I was with him for years. He wasn’t a bad guy but he did have some baggage but I was willing to work through them because I had baggage of my own. During our years together, deep down inside, I kind of felt in my spirit that I shouldn’t had been with him and something in me felt out of place, but I proceeded anyway. I kept feeling God’s disapproval and ignored the warning signs. God kept speaking, but I kept going until the relationship started to unravel and then the relationship became toxic leaving me shattered in my soul. Once everything was said and done, God made it crystal clear to me I was not to be with him and after years of not listening, I had no choice but to follow God, or at least tried to follow God by leaving that relationship alone.
During these months, it would be an agonizing daily struggle not to reach out to him, and as hard as it was, I was obedient for I had already tasted God’s wrath when I failed to listen. But sometimes those urges to call and be with him would just take over out of nowhere. I would be sitting at my desk and out of nowhere this strong compulsion would come over me to call him. I was just chilling a minute ago totally fine and feeling good for I’d been obeying God and the next thing I knew I felt like a robot, I just had to call him and felt totally irrational, insane and nothing mattered not even God when that feeling would come on. I needed to be with him and that’s all that mattered. That surge to call him wouldn’t go away unless I cowered under and obeyed. So there I am, at work at my desk, rocking back and forth like a drug addict because I’m torn, should I call him?
I could hear the Holy Ghost gently telling me “NO…he’s not for you…if you call…” and then the devil is in my other ear saying “what’s wrong with calling him, it’s just a call, it’s not that deep, see how he’s doing and hang up the phone, it’s not that serious….”So in a matter of minutes I had convinced myself it was okay to call and I totally blocked out the voice of the Lord. It started with just a phone call. Then, it became days where I just had to see him. The next thing I knew after work I’m driving like the wicked witch of the west to his house…What happened? He…”IT” had a hold on me.
God is asking, “WHAT HAS A HOLD ON YOU?”
I remember when I was in college and I started getting introduced to “partying.” “Partying” in this instance is not limited to a place where you go to have fun, partying can also be something you indulge in. If you’ve gone to a live party, a little bit of everything is going on especially at these college parties. You see people smoking, drinking and doing everything under the sun and it all seems innocent, exhilarating and fun. So, you keep “partying” and the “partying” becomes a norm. That first experience and feeling you received at that first party is gone, so after a while, the norm of “partying” wears off and in order to have more fun consistently, the “partying” is necessary and then graduates from necessary to mandatory then quickly becomes a necessity to even function in life.
It’s amazing how we do certain things that seem so simple and innocent and have no idea that our indulgence comes with a price and most times, it’s the destruction of our bodies, our souls and the purpose and will of God. Anytime we disobey God, it’s opening up Pandora’s Box and we place ourselves in the hands of the devil for our own demise. The brokenness in my life at different times, has lead me to places I thought I’d never be. You start doing something so small until you are no longer in control. The places I’ve traveled, if it were not for the grace of God, I could be a drug addict, HIV positive, in jail or dead. I’m not the only one. There are times in your life and the choices you’ve made, you could be dead, HIV positive, in jail or dead. To God Be The Glory For He Is So Amazing In Sparing Our Lives And Saving Us From Ourselves.
I’ve been struggling for quite some time with something that I have not fully given to the Lord I’d like to share with you in Part 2 of “Just Say No!” The Lord this week truly ministered to me with Romans 7 and gave me some insight where he has allowed me to overcome that challenge for these last 4 days. I’m learning to say NO one day at a time, will you join me.
PRAYER:
“Lord, show me areas in my heart that allows me to stray from you. Show me those idols I have hidden in my heart that has taken your place. Show me where I am out of step and out of line with your purpose and will for my life. Show me MY behavior that the enemy is using to cause my demise. Show me” that thing” that I’m doing that causes You sorrow. Give me Grace to love You more than I love myself. Empower me! Strengthen Me! Revive Me! Restore Me! Send your word to heal my broken places and to help me overcome. Speak to My Heart Lord, Speak to Me, Your Servant is Listening!”
Remember, read and meditate on Romans 7, it is an awesome scripture to help you overcome and say NO to something that’s binding you too.
Join me for my next blog post “Just Say No” Part 2 and don’t forget to share B.O.O.M! with everyone you know. As always, be encouraged, stay connected, fight and Let’s Become Free Together.
In His Name,
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
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