“Breaking Free: My Testimony of Deliverance & Healing In Christ” Part 1

Hey Hey Hey Great people!

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to write. After a long journey of waiting on The Lord to show me my next door and window to fulfill my calling, I finally heard the call. I’ve been spending my time in quarantine preparing for this next phase in my life, helping people, as I do with B.O.O.M!, but now, in my career & ministry helping people become UNSTUCK! But this time, serving people that are struggling with the paralysis of grief, loss, and pain.

Looking back over my life, I can see why the devil fought me so hard. The enemy saw what I didn’t see…my own capability in Christ to get free, and not just get free, but help others get free. He knew if I got free, he’d be in serious trouble.

You may ask, “Get free from what?”

A lifetime of mourning and complicated grief. Cycles of sadness & depression. Fear. Obesity (which I’m still overcoming.) Ungodly soul ties. Bad relationships. Fornication. Addiction. Generational curses. Rejection. Illegitimacy. Spiritual attacks. Rebellion and plain ole running from God which, left the door wide open to satan attacking me moment by moment…ABSOLUTELY NO PEACE!

The bad thing was, no one knew I was struggling, and, no one could help.

I covered it up well because I was educated, I had important titles, and, I was in church, in ministry, and SEEMED ok, well put together, but behind that well-lit smile, while I was alone, I was tormented. I carried on like business as usual and no one knew that I was struggling with strongholds, ungodly soul ties that would manifest whenever an ANOINTED Godly person was around…I couldn’t stick around that person for too long and, I avoided them at all costs. Whenever I was around a true spirit-led person, I felt like vomiting. I understand why now, whatever stronghold had me bound, it would manifest being around God’s presence and make me flee, cringe or get sick.

The devil didn’t care that I was IN CHURCH…IN MINISTRY…as long as I kept doing the Lord’s work, busy for the Lord, as long as my condition stayed the same, he was ok. The devil was absolutely fine with me being in church as long as I was unaware of his tactics. But one day, for several months, I felt as though life was being sucked out of me and I sought God for an answer.

I may have been struggling with a lot inwardly, but my saving grace is that I did pray and always did from the time I was a kid. What I did have going for me was a morning devotion no matter what devilish things I was doing, I read my word and, talked to God. I did know Him and I heard him. But, I was running from Him. But, the Lord gave me enough wisdom even in my craziness, I knew my life without Him, would never do.

I was crashing and completely burnt out and it wasn’t simply a tired type of burnout, but my soul I felt my soul was empty.

I literally felt the scum of the world on me and in the midst of my sin, I would feel God’s presence hovering over me. God was slow-walking me down and I couldn’t escape His presence though I ran like hell.

I heard the Lord giving me an ultimatum, “you will never have peace until you let go of that thing you love more than me, the world. That man. The sex. The drinking. Partying. Indulging. You want me and the world and you can’t have both. Choose today, who will you serve?”

I was in church, doing the most, led worship, sang in two choirs, went to bible study, Sunday school, traveled with the church, etc. I called myself taking my time separating from the world, but, my partnership with satan was killing me slowly.

I was doing a lot in church, but what I really needed was healing.

You see, I was Martha. I was busy doing the Lord’s work, but, I was missing Jesus in the process. I had an ungodly soul tie that needed breaking. I had childhood wounds that needed healing. I had trauma and hurt that could stretch across the earth and long as I was busy, the devil was cool with that because I was only treating the surface.

God wanted more for me and from me. Jesus no longer wanted parts of me…He wanted all of me, most importantly, Jesus wanted my heart.

This is where my journey of deliverance began…acknowledging that I was empty, hungry, thirsty, sick, and tired of being sick and tired and was desperate for more. I needed a fresh infilling, a new power, but while in prayer, He would have me randomly turn to this scripture:

Matthew 9:17 (GNT)
17 Nor does anyone pour new wine into used wineskins, for the skins will burst, the wine will pour out, and the skins will be ruined. Instead, new wine is poured into fresh wineskins, and both will keep in good condition.”

I never understood what The Lord was trying to say to me, but I do now. I kept asking Him for more, but I was in my own way hindering that prayer.

The Lord desires more than church attendance, church fundraisers, fish fry’s, ushering, sanging, etc., but desires our willingness to surrender our ENTIRE lives to Him so He can have His way. He can’t pour His power into unfit, unclean, or partial willing vessels because the results would be disastrous.

He wants fully surrendered vessels to pour in His new wine so He can do a new thing. But, you have to let go of whatever you are holding onto.

The first part of my deliverance was being desperate, willing to sacrifice any and everything to him being willing to even die fighting in Jesus for your freedom.

Are you hungry? Thirsty? Crushed? Struggling? Bound? Sick & tired of your current state?

Today, if you hear his voice, harden not your heart. Surrender your all to Jesus.

If you’re struggling with sin, confess that sin to Jesus. Even confess if you still enjoy the sin you’re in, you can tell Him, “Lord, I know this is wrong, but I love doing_______________ but in the Name of Jesus, I thank you for taking the taste of __________out of my heart and mouth in Jesus name. Thank you for making me free from__________ in Jesus name.” Then, keep confessing that prayer.

Keep surrendering and dying to your flesh daily, declare it, “Today, I die to __________________________ and I give Jesus all of me right now. Right now, my heart and mind are being renewed in Jesus’ name.

You can also write Jesus a letter, expressing your feelings, struggles and pour out your heart to Him. There’s power in journaling…I’ve gotten more messages from God and not just that, something about processing your feelings and letting them out in writing, there’s something liberating about that…I do this often and have had many breakthroughs journaling to God.

After you write it, listen in quiet with your bible open for His directives. Pay attention to messages, from people, you’re environment, look all around you because God speaks to us in a variety of ways and not always through thunder and lightning.

I’m just getting started with this topic. Continue to join me as I share with you what Christ is sharing with me about overcoming. As always, Be Encouraged, Stay Connected, Fight & Let’s Become Free Together.

Yours in Christ,

Ke’Shawn Hill-Adamson

B.O.O.M!

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