As I was in prayer yesterday, the Lord lead me to this scripture:
Isaiah 55 (CEV)
The Lord’s Invitation
If you are thirsty, come and drink water!
If you don’t have any money, come, eat what you want!
Drink wine and milk without paying a cent.
2 Why waste your money on what really isn’t food?
Why work hard for something that doesn’t satisfy?
Listen carefully to me, and you will enjoy the very best foods.
3 Pay close attention! Come to me and live.
I will promise you the eternal love and loyalty that I promised David.
4 I made him the leader and ruler of the nations; he was my witness to them.
5 You will call out to nations you have never known.
And they have never known you, but they will come running
because I am the Lord, the holy God of Israel, and I have honored you.
God’s Words Are Powerful
6 Turn to the Lord! He can still be found. Call out to God! He is near.
7 Give up your crooked ways and your evil thoughts.
Return to the Lord our God.
He will be merciful and forgive your sins.
8 The Lord says: “My thoughts and my ways are not like yours.
9 Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, my thoughts and my ways
are higher than yours.
10 “Rain and snow fall from the sky. But they don’t return
without watering the earth that produces seeds to plant
and grain to eat.
11 That’s how it is with my words.
They don’t return to me without doing everything
I send them to do.”
God’s People Will Celebrate
12 When you are set free, you will celebrate and travel home in peace.
Mountains and hills will sing as you pass by, and trees will clap.
13 Cypress and myrtle trees will grow in fields once covered by thorns.
And then those trees will stand as a lasting witness to the glory of the Lord.
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There is rest for the weary soul.
As I dig and uncover what’s going on with me inwardly, God is revealing to me I’ve been grieving for 32 years. That’s almost as long as that crippled man in John 5:5-9, except, I didn’t realize I was crippled.
As I search, dig and uncover, I’m learning that I’m still devastated over losing my grandmother 32 years ago. She is who I called “Mommy” and was my very first best friend…she was my everything. I was her baby…it was like she birthed me…I took most of my looks, physique and ways after her.
She loved to bake, cook, make arts and crafts and play games with me…that’s exactly what I do with my kids. She would sit down and teach me things…that’s exactly what I do with my kids. We would play, run and have fun and be silly…that’s exactly what I do with my kids. She loved family, was warm and cuddly, that’s exactly who I am.
It was crazy…one night, I was jumping on her bed with my uncle and sister and the next morning, she was taken to the hospital and I never saw her again…just typing that sentence just ripped my heart into a billion pieces…no words…32 years later and I’m still devastated!
The Lord brought to my remembrance something that happend during this time…I remember going into the kitchen at my Grandmothers house and on our deep freezer, there I saw all kinds of big, decadent desserts: chocolate cake, a huge coconut cake, cookies, everything you can imagine.
I stood there in awe of all those desserts…I remember staring and standing there for a while…age 7…as I stood there thinking, I said to myself…’hmm, so this is what happens when people die…you get lots of desserts and food.” I remember that like it was yesterday…it was like time stood still and I can still see myself as a child standing there thinking, observing and making connections.
I never forgot that…my heart never forgot that. My heart must have made a mental note of the conclusion I’d drawn.
Recently, the Lord asked me to give up sugar and literally, I cried. I felt like something was being ripped from me. There is a direct connection between the loss of my grandmother, those desserts and how sugar not only feeds my flesh, but how it feeds my grief.
God would have us all ask ourselves if we’re struggling with anything:
‘WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING?’
I’ve spent a lifetime feeding my grief…but I didn’t know it. It wasn’t until I became a young adult that I suffered with morbid obesity. I’ve always struggled losing weight, but morbid obesity wasn’t an issue.
Life caught up to me as an adult…the inward sadness not just from losing my Grandmother, but every death of every close family member, every disappointment, abandonment, rejection, utter heart break and disappointment, life issues etc…I never really learned how to cope properly and be comforted by God…this has lead me to my morbid obesity today.
At some point, the weight just came on and I couldn’t control it. I wasn’t eating crazy, but something shifted for me…I believe everything I’ve ever gone through just caught up with me and manifested in morbid obesity. At some point, I just couldn’t control my weight. I think inwardly, I was just too sad to fight and keep fighting to win.
My heart was thinking, “Im Sad…I’m really, really, really sad and I need comforting…”
In prayer, I had to be really real with God about how sad it made me I had to give up desserts and sugar…it was a serious battle and that conversation with God went on for hours….
Continue to join me to hear “In Need Of Comfort” Part 2 and what happened next during my time of prayer.
If your heart hurts, I pray you find comfort in these scriptures:
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Isaiah 40:1-2 (NLT)
“Comfort, comfort my (daughter),” says your God… (your) sad days are gone and (your) sins are pardoned.
Revelation 21:3-5(NLT)
3 I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.[a] 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things (of the past) are gone forever.”
5 And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!”
Psalm 56:8(NLT)
You Lord keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NLT)
1(Jesus was sent) to comfort my (broken heart)
(He tells me that I’ve been held) captive, I am released…I have been imprisoned) I am freed.
2 HE SAYS IN YOUR MOURNING…IT IS TIME, THE LORD’S FAVOR HAS COME, and with it, the day of God’s anger against your enemies.
Instead of my mourning, He exchanges it for a crown of beauty instead of ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, a festive praise instead of despair.
Isaiah 51:3 (NKJV)
For the Lord comforts (me),
He comforts all (my) waste places; He makes (my) wilderness like (the garden of) Eden, And (my) desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness is found in (me),
Thanksgiving, the voice of melody and the sound of singing fills the air.
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Also, I am pleased to announce that I will be a guest on the online radio show Hidden Treasures with Ayanna and Morris on Monday, March 7, 2016 from 9 PM -10 PM, YAYY!
I will be speaking about B.O.O.M! and the topic “Breaking Free.”
Join us at www.inthemixxradio.com Monday, March 7, 2016 from 9 PM -10 PM
As always, stay connected to B.O.O.M! and let’s become free together.
Listen to this song and may it comfort you too! “Shoulders” For King and Country
In His Name,
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
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