My husband and I received some news on Friday that just plain hurt. In addition, after writing the post “In Need Of Comfort” Part 1, I really needed comforting. God was allowing and I was allowing myself to feel things that I’ve been unconsciously stuffing for quite some time…so it was a rough weekend.
Friday evening was a emotional battle…I found myself praying all night… and as much as I prayed, those feelings just wouldn’t budge…so I continued to pray. At some point, I started to fix myself something small to eat for I hadn’t eaten in a while. I payed close attention to WHEN I ate for I didn’t want to comfort myself with food. Once I ate, I felt satisfied, I stopped eating and I started washing up my dishes. Right in the middle of washing dishes, I heard MY VOICE in my head saying adamantly really, really loud, “I’M STILL HUNGRY!!!”
I thought to myself, “Wow, I’m not hungry, I just ate…I feel really satisfied.” I sat there perplexed for a moment that “I’M STILL HUNGRY…” I thought about it and I said to myself, “Nooo, I’m not still hungry…I know right now I feel satisfied…I just ate…I’m not eating anymore…I’m in pain right now so I need to go to God and pray…that’s the enemy talking, not me!”
I kid you not…once I said that…within a couple of minutes…that emotional pain I was battling with all evening lifted and my peace started to come back.
The enemy disguised himself in my own voice and dropped that hunger thought in my head to get me to keep eating to comfort myself as I’ve had in the past. This time, God opened up my understanding as clear as day and I was able to discern the difference between my voice and the enemy using my voice to disguise himself.
That is seriously creepy and amazing all at the same time.
It’s amazing how crafty the enemy is. All this time, he’s been telling me “you’re hungry, keep eating, you’ll feel better” and USING ME to fulfill his plan to kill myself and thwart off my purpose. The bible says in,
2 Corinthians 11:14 NIV
…Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
PEOPLE OF GOD, THE BATTLE OVER OUR SOULS IS REAL & THE ENEMY USES US AT TIMES TO THWART OFF OUR PURPOSE IN CHRIST.
A couple of things God wanted me to see through this experience:
- Every time I didn’t go to God to receive my comfort when I was hurting and catered to my flesh, I gave the devil permission to USE ME to KILL MYSELF and to thwart off my purpose and destiny
- Every time I stuff my pain, my pain manifests in my behavior someway …somehow…it resulted in my eating to comfort myself
- Every time I caved into my flesh, I gave the devil a legal right to gain a stronghold in my soul and in that area, he operated and controlled me
- The enemy uses my voice and made suggestions in my mind to get me to do what he wanted me to do…all this time, I thought the person that was telling me I was hungry was me…I was deceived.
- It wasn’t until I said NO to the enemy and payed attention to my actions, did God cause the enemy to flee and He took those burdens off of me
- My battle to overcome my obesity IS SPIRITUAL WARFARE…its bigger than correcting my behavior to lose weight…
- God want’s me to be alert and prayerful through this process so I am no longer deceived
When we decide to say No to whatever’s contrary to God, we give Heaven a justifiable reason to come to our aid to help us…God helped lift the pain and burden off of me Friday because I continued to fight and pray…I said NO to the devil and The Lord came and delivered me.
I’m not saying by any means I’ve arrived because I conquered that one battle…there will be others…but this was the first step in understanding how the enemy is using me and He’s calling me to PAY ATTENTION and make different decisions based off of the things HE HAS TAUGHT so I can win.
God is calling us to pay attention to our vices…our habits…our struggles…observe when we do certain things and at what times…pay attention to triggers that cause us to fall into sin. Pray that I our eyes be opened so that not only can we see God move, but see how the enemy operates through us…it’s only then…as we pursue Christ wholeheartedly and are serious about our own deliverance, will God come to our aid, push back the enemy and set us free.
Be encouaraged People of God, God is moving on our behalf…Let’s have FAITH…BELIEVE…Let’s continue to fight and become free together!
Check out this video by Joyce Meyer — Grief and Loneliness (Pt 1). It blessed my soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn-TJdHLXt0
In His Name,
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
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