“ JUST SAY NO!” Part 2

Have you ever gotten weary, sick and tired of yourself? Have you ever made a promise to yourself vowing this time, it would be different, only to turn around and not keep your word? Have you ever vowed something in front of others and not lived up to it? Have you ever vowed to do something in your heart and failed before you ever got started? I can say YES to all of the above. The feelings that follow is utter disappointment, shame and bewilderment as to why you can’t get yourself together.

The one big thing that’s been preventing me from reaching my weight loss goals is my Sleep Eating.  It’s a horrible, horrible habit and something I’ve been doing since I was a kid.  I could be dead asleep and could literally feel the urge to get up and eat whatever’s in the house. It could be that brownie that was left on the table or perhaps that pork chop left over from dinner. I even remember eating a pork chop half asleep and thinking, “ummm, it would taste even better if it were warmed” and popped it in the microwave for 10 seconds. That sounds insane, but yes, I would be half asleep and feasting. There were day’s I’ve prowled around the house like an animal looking for food.  I have even gone as far to eat my toddler’s snacks, crazy, but true.

When I’m sleep eating, no one’s snack or food is safe, LOL! I remember eating my father’s fresh piece of fried fish when I was younger. He ate only a quarter of it, became tired and went to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night on the prowl for food and saw that fish on the table.  We’ll, you know what happened, I devoured that fish like a wild beast. In the morning, I was awakened to hear him yelling from a distance about his fish…it was a wrap and I was shook…I don did it now.  Fully awakened and in my right mind, I would never out right just eat anyone’s food…that’s just down right disrespectful.

I come from a home where you MUST respect everyone’s property, even food. Anyone that knows me knows not to play with my food, but when I’m half asleep, I don’t have any sense of boundaries. I know I’m doing wrong by eating someone else’s food and can hear that voice reminding me to stop, but I ignore the voice and proceed. I’ve made my family dog mad at me for eating their food only to be embarrassed in the morning. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to apologize for sleep eating.  My sleep eating is not only humiliating, but a health hazard and it’s probably one of the biggest things I do that prevents me from losing weight.

My sleep eating has always been unhealthy even when I was thin, but now that I’m older and have a family, losing the weight has become the ultimate priority and urgent. There are so many times I would stop sleep eating only to pick up that habit again and found it almost impossible to stop.  I’m pretty regimented with my eating habits during the day and have great triumphs during that time, but at night, I undo all of my good work…it becomes so disappointing and a vicious cycle. When the Lord began to take a different approach with me this summer regarding my weight loss, I found myself growing weary, tired and sick of myself that I was not able to overcome this issue. God really began to speak to me as I sought answers in prayer and these are some truths He revealed to me over a period of months:

Revelation 1: Whatever I deprive myself of during the day, I fulfill those desires in my sleep. That was a great revelation for me because at one point, I swore it was the devil.  Yes, it’s partially the devil because he literally sends his minions to wake me up, awaken my senses for food and tempting me to eat every night. He wants me to keep sleep eating because he’s trying to kill me. But on the other hand, God revealed to me another truth. I’ve learned in my process how to substitute my voids. It’s not always the devil that causes us to fall into sin, sometimes it’s us.  

Revelation 2: The devil can only tempt me with something where I have left the door opened and given him permission to have access to manipulate my soul.  Wherever we go, whatever we do, whatever we say and the sinful things we indulge in all gives the devil A LEGAL RIGHT to come and go as he pleases in our lives.  The more sin we indulge in, the more the devil gains strength and gets other strongman to oppress us. Demons and strongman work like gangs, you have the head, but then you have the people under them to do their bidding’s and they recruit others to join them. The longer we’re in sin, we give the devil ground to oppress and gain a stronghold over our lives and we become enslaved. He has full access to come and go as he pleases with or without our consent. As I continued to pray, the sleep eating didn’t change but something He said stuck with me.

Revelation 3: “The truth is, you secretly want to eat those things so you do it in your sleep. In your sleep, you don’t have to hold yourself accountable for your actions because you blame it on your condition, but what you don’t know is that you’re in an agreement with the enemy.”  Naturally, I didn’t agree with the Lord for I felt that it was the devils fault I kept participating in this destructive behavior. I felt like ‘I’m sleep, I can’t control what I do.’ The Lord continued, “The devil wants you to sleep eat so he can eventually kill you and abort your purpose. You subconsciously want to sleep eat because you want to feed your flesh. So, the two of you have made a secret alliance and every time you sleep eat, you have made a subconscious agreement with the devil and every time you participate, you’re agreeing to your own demise.” B.O.O.M!

Wow, that hurt. That right there was a rude awakening and that revelation stripped away all my excuses.  I prayed about it and it was true. The devil knows our weaknesses.  He can’t always make me abandon my goals during the day for I’m sharp, quick, awake, alert and in control, so he waits until I’m too tired and weak to fight him off and that’s when he strikes. The devil knows when and how to attack me and knows my weak spots in order to get in.  WHAT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE IS THE DEVIL TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND HOW ARE YOU FIGHTING HIM OFF?

Since starting this blog, I’ve been trying all the more to stop sleep eating losing that battle several times last week. But On Wednesday, December 9th, I just got fed up and disgusted with myself for having failed the night before and the Lord stepped in and gave me a Word in Romans 7.  Several verses stood out to me:

Romans 7: 1(NKJV), 5-12(NLT),

(1)…do you not know, brethren…that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives…? (5)When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death.(7)…(it is) the law (of God) that show(s) me my sin. (8)But sin use(s) (these) command(s) to arouse all kinds of covetous desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power. (9)…when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life, 10 and I died. So I discovered that (God’s) commands, which were supposed to bring life, brought spiritual death instead. 11 Sin took advantage of those commands and deceived me; it used the commands to kill me. 12 But still, the law itself is holy, and its commands are holy and right and good.

As mentioned in “Just Say No!” (Part 1), “when you tell yourself “No” to anything, your flesh automatically kicks back, stands tall and perches itself ready to attack and fight you back.  Sounds crazy, I know, but try to tell yourself NO to anything you really want and watch the battle begin.…”

PRAYER: 

Father, In the name of Jesus, I pray for grace to crucify my flesh. I pray for the strength and the desire to want what you want for me. I give you my flesh, my palate, my appetite, my hunger, my desires, my stomach and my will that your will, be my will. I thank you that I supernaturally desire the things you desire for me. Thank you for taking the taste out of my mouth of the things that are contrary to You, reveal to me who I am and the things I do that causes me to stumble. I repent for secretly agreeing with the enemy those things that destroy my body, those things that put a wedge between You and I and causes my soul and the devil to win in my life.  My spirit will be on the winning side this day. I will makes choices and decision that cause my spirit to win. Thank you for answering my prayer, it is so. In Jesus Name!

As always, be encouraged, stay connected, fight, and Let’s Become Free Together!

In His Name,

Ke’Shawn Adamson

B.O.O.M!

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