For those God will use, there’s a price you must pay for that rich anointing. There’s a price you’ll pay to see Christ’s greatest miracles, those signs, gifts and wonders. For those that truly desire to be used, there’s a season of testing you’ll undergo for promotion and increase in the Lord. I’m not saying this is the formula for everyone, but for most, there’s a crushing similar to that of making fine olive oil that we’ll face as we strive to our destination in Christ. For me, my crushing has been for years and it was only heightened giving birth to my daughter and the recovery thereafter. Join me as I take you on a journey of my life, my lessons of suffering, trials of obesity, health scares and a host of others things that God is using to declare His message, this day, to His people.
Picking up where I left off from “Moving Towards Obesity” Part 10, after a long, painful grueling time at the hospital, I checked myself out and brought home my baby…priceless! But I never imagined in a thousand years how it felt to feel handicapped in any way…unable to function on a very basic level…to bend…lift your leg…walk up and down stairs…go to the bathroom…wipe yourself…turn your body left or right…get out of bed…wash and lotion yourself…EVERYTHING, and not to mention, care for a little life. Not in a thousand years did I imagine the pain and affliction and agony I faced in my soul and how scared and helpless I felt…never been more petrified in my life.
Due to all of the pain meds I received and the pain of surgery in general, one main concern the doctors had for me was blood clotting…that in itself made me scared to death…but what really pushed me over edge and made me nearly have a nervous break down was the condition of my legs. Since gaining weight, I developed a condition called Lymphedema, for me, it was the swelling of my legs. My legs have always been excessively large, but the weight only accentuated the problem. My emotional and mental collapse came when I saw that my legs were swelling to the point where I felt they were literally going to burst open…LITERALLY!
I remember staring at my legs and seeing that the pressure from the excess swelling and fluids started to develop a little hole in my leg…I can see a stream of water drippin down one of my legs trying to relieve the pressure and release the fluids…so that right there, NO WORDS! Once open sores start to develop, over time, they would only get bigger to relieve the pressure and force out the fluids…in addition, those sores wouldn’t heal properly if the swelling continued…so when I saw my small opening begin, that right there, did me in (I’m so sorry to gross anyone out…). I remember coming out of the shower and I couldn’t bend to lotion myself, so my husband tried to help me and when he touched my legs…unbearable pain…it felt like a thousand needles were injected in my legs and all I could feel is fire in the lower part of my body…NO WORDS!
It was day two being home with my baby…my C-section pain was agonizing…I was helpless…emotionally despondent…AND…my legs were in the process of developing open sores due to the edema…I remember that evening coming out of the shower, walking in my bedroom and hysterically collapsing on my dresser about to have a nervous breakdown as my husband sat there watched and consoled me…No Words.
Continue to join me for “Moving Towards Obesity” Part 12 where my pain and afflictions landed me back in the hospital.
I know this series have been gut wrenching to read, I know…I lived it…it’s hard for me to read it too…but for some reason, Christ has asked me to walk readers through my journey of suffering…many are out there suffering silently…someone reading this today are going through some crushings of their own…either with obesity…struggling with a stronghold…undergoing pain, health concerns, death, loss, afflictions…whatever your storms may be, Christ wants you to know…
“Hold On! I’m taking you through your process that you’ll know me better. I suffer as I watch my children suffer, but in order for you to grow and learn the lessons I’m trying to teach you, sometimes, it requires suffering. I suffered and overcame…what I have inside of me that allowed me to overcome…YOU HAVE TOO!…you have to believe, hold onto my Word and come into my presence to receive of me. Suffering produces a depth in Me that couldn’t be accomplished any other way. Hold onto me and don’t give up in having faith that YES, there is purpose in your pain and it’s not designed to kill you…but bring out of you what I put in you and bring you to an expected end. I AM with You as you walk with me…I will never leave nor forsake you. Keep fighting…my Grace is with you and my power rest on you to overcome. I love you endlessly….”
Hebrews 5: 7 (NIV) 7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8 Although he was a Son, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him 10 and was designated by God to be high priest... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future, a hope (and bring you to an expected end).
As always, be encouraged, stay connected, FIGHT, and Let’s Become Free Together!
“Grace, Grace” with Jentezen Franklin
In His Name,
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
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