It wasn’t until I became morbidly obese did I truly understand how obesity would impact my life. I didn’t understand how someone can suffer as a result of Morbid Obesity, in every way, until I became obese myself. I had head knowledge of how obesity could affect someone’s health, but thank God, I didn’t suffer from any major complications with the exception of some foot problems and later Lymphdema, the excessive swelling of my legs, which later on, did trouble me. The challenges with my obesity fully came when I was bringing life into this world…this is where my faith, life, hope, mental stability, everything was challenged and since then, I’ve never been the same.
Picking up where I left off in “Moving Towards Obesity” Part 8, once the hospital recovered from the black out, the doctor’s broke my water and put me on Pattosin, a drug used to induce labor. At that time, my fluids were still low but improved and the baby seemed to be doing well, but they still wanted to get her out quickly in case she started be in danger again. The doctors agreed that a c-section for someone my size would cause me great complications e.g. blood clotting, hemorrhaging, heart failure, excessive edema, c-section reopening etc., so they resolved to help me give birth vaginally.
After six to seven hours of increasing the Pattosin, my cervix only dilated four centimeters on its highest level…can I say PURE INSANITY AND NO PAIN MEDS!!! The baby wasn’t budging and neither was my cervix. The doctors went back to the drawing board and decided to pull out the big dawgs…they pulled out some contraption, a balloon if you will, that was designed to expand my cervix little by little over a period of time. Once they inserted that…can I say non-describable, insurmountable, out of body experience, threshold of death pain. No Words!
After checking me a thousand times and my cervix still only 4 centimeters, the doctors then decided to use another type of balloon contraption which was designed to do the same thing…and this my friend went on for several more hours and days…now, I went into labor and delivery on a Thursday, it was now Saturday…a bombardment of doctors around the clock, moving, pulling, inserting, stretching, tugging, needles, blood work, IV’s emergency scares, no food etc. Not to mention, at some point, the baby’s heart rate dropped abruptly and the doctor’s stormed the room, flipped me over while I was asleep and began making preparations to make certain she was okay…HORRIFIC! From that point, they had to hook up internal heart monitor on my cervix to monitor her heart rate thoroughly…so I was exhausted, in indescribable and insurmountable pain and emotionally panicked and DONE!
By this time, I was beyond despondent and I wasn’t okay mentally…emotionally…spiritually and especially physically. I couldn’t even bare to talk with anyone close to me because I was messed up in my heart, my spirit and my mind. I had already been suffering in my heart because of the guilt, shame, utter disappointment I felt that I couldn’t lose this weight even with my best efforts prior to giving birth not to mention there were storms and trials on every side leading up to this point, things I haven’t even mentioned. Who could take anymore? My husband and mom sleeping in chairs for three days watching me suffer, feeling helpless, concerned for me, concerned for the baby, no sleep, no relief, no rest…I was broken and crushed in my soul!!!
I couldn’t understand why God was allowing this type of suffering to happen to me…to us. I sat in that hospital bed leveled to the ground…beyond despondent…crushed…exhausted…utterly disappointed in God and confused why He was allowing me to suffer so…everything in me screaming “why…why…why this suffering? Why? Why? Why? We serve You, we honor You with our everything, we try our best to give you our everything, we’ve been faithful to the best of our ability…Why? Why this suffering?” No Words!!!
…but my Mom, she kept us grounded and spoke A Word from the Lord that sealed it and brought comfort to our soul.
“For those with a high calling and anointing over their lives, sometimes God will take you the hard and long way. The Lord could have lead the Israelite’s to the Promise-land in 12 days but instead, led them the long way to teach them some things. For the calling God has over your lives and what He’s going to give you, He has to take you the long way.”
That one word from the Lord through my Mom settled the matter that day and continues to minister to me, us, when we go through today. Our suffering was tied up in our calling. That Word from the Lord put things in its proper place, Praise God for my Mom…our suffering was tied up in preparing us for the call of Christ on our lives. There’s a lot to be said about suffering and the role it plays in our calling and how it propels us to the next level if we let it. The bible says don’t despise small beginnings…for us…don’t despise the process the Lord is taking us through…it was the making of us. Had God just delivered me back then and just took my obesity away, I wouldn’t be here to share and minister to those in need today…I wouldn’t have some of the gifts He’s deposited in me…the passion and intimacy with and for Him…the understanding and acceptance of embracing suffering, which at that end of the day, is truly the making of all of us.
For all of you going through, do not despise the process of the Lord for your lives…it’s the making of you…Hold ON! God has a plan and final destination for our pain to propel us where we need to be in Him.
There Is Purpose In Your Pain! Be Encouraged!
1 Corinthians 15:57-58
…But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast and immovable. Always excel in the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
The suffering didn’t stop there. Continue to join me for “Moving Toward’s Obesity” Part 10 where I’ll further share other traumatic events that transpired thereafter. As always, stay connected, Be Encouraged, Fight, and Let’s Become Free Together!
Prophecy John Paul Jackson 2016 – The Mystery Of The Valley
In His Name,
Ke’Shawn Adamson
B.O.O.M!
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